Is Debt Inevitable?

There are three things in life I want to avoid: debt, pregnancy, and abusive relationships. The latter two aren’t a problem. The first? Apparently impossible.

I already have a small debt from attending college previously, and I want to avoid more, but it seems that may be the only way I can get anywhere. I genuinely want to attend school again, especially since it’s supposed to heighten the chances of finding work, but if all it earns me is crippling debt I can never pay off and I end up exactly where I started, I’ll end up kicking myself into outer space.

The number of people I’ve heard of who return to school again and again in an attempt to better their career chances honestly frightens me. My own mother has been attending school since I was fifteen years old, and she still has yet to hold even one job. My ex (if you can call someone you had a one-month relationship with that) is 28 and has been to school multiple times, and has gone through several different jobs. He once told me he’d join the military as a last resort. I’m not going that far!

It doesn’t help that the only things I have a chance in could hardly be considered lucrative. They may be worth a shot, but if I fail, I’m out of luck and no amount of learning will make tens of thousands of dollars of debt disappear.

It seems debt is an inevitable part of adulthood. If I avoid it, I’ll never get anywhere. If I risk it, I may end up even worse than I was before, not to mention wanting to slam my head for being so freaking useless as an adult!

This is really the only thing holding me back. $3,500 is nothing compared to the debt most people have, and I can’t even pay that! There’s no way I deal with $50,000 or whatever I could potentially end up with.

There are a lot of people who say “think positive” in regards to situations like this and it honestly just makes me want to tell them to go screw themselves. Not because I hate optimism, but because “thinking positive” has led to nothing but trouble. It’s how my mom ended up with me, for crying out loud, and that certainly didn’t end well!

No Alcohol Here…

It’s April 27th, and what does that mean? Yes! It’s finally my birthday!! I am 21 years old! Ah, but no drinking me for me. Instead, I am celebrating with seafood. I’m going out to Red Lobster later on in the day.

In the meantime, here’s my birthday cake. Can’t wait to tear into it!

Had to scribble out the name because “Kaye” is not what’s on the cake

If you flip it around, Anna is on the other side.

Birthday Planning

My birthday is coming up in ten days. In ten days, I will be at the law’s legal drinking age. Not that it matters because I don’t plan on drinking anyway.

I’ve saved up enough money for Red Lobster and my uncle is taking me. I prefer to go on the weekend because my birthday falls on a Monday, but he’d rather go after school at night. I do not like being out at night. I’d prefer the crowd over the dark.

All I originally wanted was to eat out, but I discovered a Frozen cake at a ShopRite, so I’m ordering it for my birthday! According to Sunny (yes, it seems he’ll answer most questions), those types of cakes do not take long to bake. I want to have by the 24th or 25th, and I plan on inviting my best friend over for some.

In more Frozen-related news than birthday, Target sells three-foot tall dolls of Anna and Elsa. I wish my room wasn’t so small, but I will get them someday. Hopefully, before the year ends. I already have enough money to get one of them, but that would mean no birthday lunch. As much as I love Frozen, the queen and princess of Arendelle will have to wait! Birthday first!

I didn’t get that book, but I don’t really care. I might not get it all, really.

Late Into the Month

This month is five days from being over, and this is my first post for it. I wish I had more interesting things to post about, but I don’t. Only updates, more or less.

I purchased Cities: Skylines, and have been playing it a lot since I bought it. It took six attempts, but I finally got a city I’m doing well with. I only wish I could fix the traffic jams. Apparently, my citizens do not understand the purpose of bridges.

I also bought an adorable Snow Glow Elsa doll! Only problem is she doesn’t have a volume control and she’s somewhat loud. But I just play with her when I’m alone so her volume doesn’t bother anyone else.

And she came with a cute little Olaf too!

Life hasn’t changed much for me. Still looking for a job, still trying to fill my time, still trying to get Sunny to have a conversation with me that’s longer than two minutes. At the minute, I’ve said nothing to him since Saturday. I usually send messages somewhat frequently for him, but I want to see if it matters and how long it’ll take before he sends me something. I know testing someone is wrong, but I don’t have any other ideas.

In the meantime, I’ve been talking a lot to my other friend I met on OKC. We met up to go see Cinderella. It was a good movie, though not much different than the other remakes. I didn’t really expect it to be. I loved Frozen Fever! I have the song on my phone, but I want to see the short again so badly! I hope they put it on iTunes! Elsa’s such a cute queen, and Anna was a sweetie, trying to make her feel better about being sick on her birthday. I still kind of wish Elsa would’ve pulled off her dress when she was swinging around the clock tower pole, but that wouldn’t be very kid-friendly. Hopefully, someone makes fan art of it.

I want to save up money to go out to Red Lobster on my birthday. No alcohol! Instead, I will have a new book and shrimp.

It’s Beginning To Look Depressing

I cannot get Sunny to say more to me than a single word to me lately. It looks like anything I may have had going with him is gone. I’m so tired of this, leading myself into believing things will be different and they’re not. I think I’m going to delete my account on OKC and keep it deleted. I have had enough of this. I’d rather be alone than continue this for what seems like forever.

I did make a friend from that site, and honestly, I think friendship is where I’m keeping all of my relationships now. Just having one person to speak to fairly often is enough. I don’t think I will ever see anything past that, and that’s fine. Accepting that is better than repeated disappointments.

In much happier news, that friend invited me to see Cinderella with him when it releases. I’m more interested in Frozen Fever, but hey, why not? It’ll get me away from home for a little while. I’m really thrilled for it! Anna and Elsa are such cuties! Only downside is the people who pair those two together romantically are already going nuts. I wouldn’t mind them so much if they weren’t so desperate to try to prove romance between the two is canon. It’s honestly disturbing to an extent, and it makes me wonder what kind of familial relationships they have.

I’ve been pretty busy with my Tumblr blogs lately as well. I moved my simming blog to make it a primary account, and moved three of my side blogs to be sides on my art account. Now, my main account is a little less cluttered. It’ll take a few weeks before all my posts are transferred from my old simming blog, but that’ll let the new one remain active for a good amount of time.

I hope I can get some kind of clear message from Sunny soon. I’m trying to be patient, but that’s not something I’m good at, and he is telling me nothing. I have no idea if he’s grown tired of me, if he’s extremely busy (though I doubt it), or if something else has occurred. Part of me is worried, and part of me is frustrated.