Drama-ix Club

It’s funny now that I’ve left the Winx fandom, I have so much to say about it. Granted, it is all related to my own experiences.

Since I began talking to my friends within the fandom, I’ve been considering rejoining the fandom. I do miss having a lot of people to talk with about the show and I miss when my main Tumblr blog was about 75% Winx posts. I surfed through the archive of that blog one day and at one point, I was regularly posting things related to Winx Club. I made a lot of small edits and took a lot of screenshots just for the sake of having fun and posting in the fandom. I can’t deny it’s a period I miss.

However, I’ve ultimately decided against returning. It’s a little lonely without the fandom, but it’s drama and stress with them. Now that I’m out of the fandom and looking at it from the outside, I’m beginning to wonder if there were some warning signs I missed that the fandom was beginning to tumble. One example from the top of my head is a user who would get angry and offended if you made any comment about the show they didn’t agree with that happened to be on a post of theirs. I once commented the group’s new style of civilian wear hadn’t yet grown on me and this person snapped at me. I still don’t see how “This style still hasn’t grown on me. I hope it does eventually,” is an offensive or even negative comment, but apparently, it is. I’ve begun to feel like that should’ve been a hint for me something was changing in the fandom.

It’s a way I used to behave as well. I grew out of it over time, but supposedly, the Winx fandom is composed of older fans, so maybe it is acceptable within that fandom. That’s odd to me because I recall someone saying they hope the nostalgic people will welcome newcomers to the fandom and while it’s only my opinion, I’d be more inclined to turn away from a new fandom if I saw people accusing others of being hateful, blinded, or biased because of nostalgia than because some people didn’t like the newer stuff. Some Disney fans don’t like any Disney movie beyond 2010, but I’m still part of the Disney fandom, to the point I wish Moana would hurry up and be released already!😆

Speaking of newcomers, that’s another problem that’s recently come to mind. The people who make the “nostalgic and biased” argument assume anyone who likes the older seasons best (1 -3 or 1 -4) only feels that way out of nostalgia, but what about the fans who did not grow up with the show? I first saw Winx Club at 10 years old, but I didn’t watch it regularly. The most I saw on TV were a few episodes from the middle of the second season.  Yes, I liked the show and thought it was cute, but I didn’t really get into the show so heavily until I was about 16 or 17 after I’d watched all of the available seasons at that time on the internet. I’m now 22 years old. How the heck can I “grow up” with something in five to six years, especially considering the show wasn’t airing in America for two or three of those years? I’m positive I didn’t jump out of my mother’s womb as a teenager in 2010 unless I was somehow reincarnated and all my memories pre-2010 are from a past life.

Some of my friends are also friends with those people in the fandom and that’s probably the biggest reason I will not rejoin. I am not a homewrecker. I’m not going to make waves, potentially get into arguments with those people, and possibly put my friends into the awkward position of who to side with or, worse, staying neutral about it (you are only allowed like the old and new stuff if you prefer the new stuff over the old stuff; there is no neutrality or equality. You must pick a side and if you pick the wrong side, you’re toast). That’s why I’ve also decided to let go of that incident that happened back in March. I hate that person for what she did, but she’s the friend of one of my friends in the fandom (something I didn’t discover until recently). My friends’ other friendships mean more to me than my feelings and I refuse to risk wrecking someone’s friendship because their friend wronged me. That doesn’t make me any better. I’d only be hurting someone I care about for the sake of getting revenge on someone else. That’s not how you treat your friends!

I’ll keep asking periodically what’s going on and if there’s anything new because my interest in Winx hasn’t diminished, but rejoining the fandom is out of the question. If this whole “you only dislike the new stuff because you’re blinded and biased from nostalgia” blows over, I may reconsider. I was even thinking about creating a “holding blog”, so to speak, in case I ever do change my mind. For now, however, the answer to whether or not I’ll rejoin is an absolute no.

4 Years and Counting

I created this blog on May 22nd, 2012. Four years of blogging, writing, and sharing my life.

I know I’ve hardly been great at keeping this blog consistently active (I forgot about its 3rd anniversary!), but I can say with sincerity it has been a journey. When I look at some of my posts from 2012 to as recent as 2014, it’s hard to believe I wrote them. Not because it doesn’t sound like me, but because some things have changed so much. Life changed, plans changed.

I truly feel proud I’ve managed to keep this blog going for so long. I really don’t have a great track record with blogs. I usually end up dropping them after about year, sometimes sooner, because I lack ideas of what to post or I grow bored. Granted, many times, those blogs are themed, so perhaps this blog being more of a life journal than focusing on specific subject contributes that my ability to keep it up, even when I get stumped at times.

Sticking around for years was my intention when I first created this blog, but because of my bad track record, I didn’t think I could do it. Now, I know I can and I am.

Spirit Animal Award

I got a surprise today! MakPlays nominated me for the Spirit Animal Blog Award! I spend little time on WordPress, so I didn’t know until hours later, but I’m no less thankful. It was so kind of her!

These are the rules for the award:

  1. Post the award picture on your blog.
  2.  Write a short paragraph about yourself and what your blog means to you.
  3.  If you could be any animal, what would you be?
  4.  Pick ten nominees

A Little About Me

I already have an “About” page, but I guess a little here can’t here. My name’s Kaye, I’m in my twenties, and I was born and raised in the United States, which I question being “the greatest nation”. My hobbies are sedentary: browsing, drawing, writing, collecting, and hanging around social media. There are some active things I like to do, such as running and biking, but I’m a homebody more than anything. I don’t hate the outside and I do try to go out every so often. I’m just someone who doesn’t need to have a lot going on.

What My Blog Means To Me

Although this is a public blog, I think of it as a diary. When I first created this blog, it was out of a need to have somewhere to talk and vent on occasion. I often have a lot of things on my mind, but I’m terrible at verbally expressing them. It’s easier to write them out. I do keep explicit thoughts off here, however.

My Spirit Animal

I’m almost positive my spirit animal would be a cat. They’re introverted and independent animals, but they still enjoy affection, love, and being cared for. They’re also quirky creatures and do things that, to us humans, to make no sense (ex: “if it fits, I sits”). That’s a fairly accurate description of me.

I nominate:

As I said, I spend little time on WordPress, thus I don’t read many WordPress blogs either. I only have two nominations:

  1. NBoutWell.com – This blogger is an author who posts mainly about his projects, but also about his personal life and views on occasion. His blog is very well-written and I personally think he’s very creative and well-spoken.
  2. My Little Piece of Quiet – A blog about introversion. Most of the posts are quotes about being quiet and introverted, and I think it’s a reassuring blog for those who feel insecure about being introverted.

Who’s Biased?

There is something that really nags me when someone claims a person is biased or blinded by nostalgia because they don’t like a certain thing. That’s a biased view within itself!

First off, it suggests everyone should like something and that’s completely unrealistic. There is nothing that’s liked by absolutely everyone. People who do like the same thing may not like it for the same reason(s). For example, one reason I adore Frozen is I strongly relate to both Elsa and Anna. However, some people who like Frozen don’t relate to Elsa and Anna, but like them as the characters they are.

Another problem with the idea that nostalgia creates biases and blindness is it suggests the only reason someone would not like something is liking its previous version(s). This isolates people who like both the old and new, and completely ignores people who dislike the new version without ever having seen the old. How does it make it sense to deem someone biased for disliking a new form of something when their first experience with it is the new form?

This idea also suggests people don’t ever complain about things they like and I’d expect anyone old enough to browse the internet unsupervised to know that is a huge lie. In life, people complain about their families, their friends, their job, their school, and other aspects of their lives, yet they may still be very happy with those aspects. To use Frozen again as an example, a complaint of the film I’ve had since I first saw it is why the trolls erased Anna’s memory. In spite of that, and few others I have about the film, I still very much adore it. Yet there are some people who believe if you have so much as a single complaint, you hate whatever it is you’re talking about.

Speaking of complaining, I feel there’s also a hypocrisy with the “nostalgic and biased” crowd. Some of them will tell others to stop complaining about new things, but make complaints about those very new things themselves. While it’s likely an impulsive oversight, I can’t help feeling there’s an aura of arrogance or superiority there. They are allowed to complain, but no one else is. It’s perplexing because it seems they do understand you can like something and still have your grievances with it, however small, but don’t accept any complaints except their own and those they agree with.

The biggest problem, in my opinion, with the idea nostalgia makes blind and biased is it suggests the previous version of a work never received complaints and criticism. I have never found that to be true. I have seen criticism of works that appear almost universally loved such as The Lion King and The Incredibles. The fact is nothing – absolutely nothing – is exempt from criticism.

I’ll use a different example: Winx Club, which I linked to above. Some complaints I heard long before its fourth season were:

  • The girls being referred to as “slutty” or that the show teaches young girls to be “whores”
  • That the show encourages anorexia because the girls are too thin
  • That the girls are boy-crazy (this is one I do agree with) and the show teaches young girls they must have a boyfriend
  • That one of the main relationships was toxic (true), although it was often argued the same relationship was the most realistic
  • The girls’ bodies and faces are nearly identical (also true)

Yet somehow, I never heard those viewpoints considered biased or the people who made them blinded by nostalgia. They were argued against, but never did nostalgia come up. Since these complaints were made about the first three seasons, not just one, it definitely could’ve, but it never did. On the other hand, any complaint about the newer seasons? Must be made because of nostalgia, even if the person making the complaint has never seen the early seasons or didn’t grow up with the show. The only exception to the rule are the people who make this accusation. Those who accuse others of biased and blinded from nostalgia are allowed to make any complaints they please.

Personally, I think generalizing everyone who doesn’t think the way you do is a lot more biased than nostalgia could ever be, if it is at all. What is more biased than saying, “You don’t think like me, therefore you must be blind and biased”?

A New Game For Me

For the past two weeks, I’ve been playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf, which was my birthday gift from my boyfriend. The game is from 2012, but I’d never played any of the series before, so it’s completely new to me.

I’ve played everyday since bringing the game home. It’s a really lax game for the most part, which is probably why I like it so much. I enjoy challenges like puzzles, quests, and destroying enemies, but slow-paced games are my favorite.

He told me Animal Crossing is a life simulation and I didn’t believe him at first, but I see how it fits into the category. The only simulation games I’d ever played before are The Sims series and Cities: Skylines, so my view of the genre is narrow. I do compare AC: NL to Sims every now and then, but I can’t really say it’s like either game. Although, if I had to choose, I’d say it was a little closer to Sims, but barely.

For starters, AC: NL has something Sims has yet to introduce: debt. You can’t really get into debt in any of the Sims games. If you fall behind on your bills, you just get your furniture taken away by the repossession service. When you buy a house, you pay full price for it right up front. In AC: NL, you have to make a down payment for your house before construction can start and you have to pay off the loan before you can expand or re-furnish your house. The same applies to town buildings. Building anything in the Sims is free unless you do it while playing with a household. In AC: NL, you’ve got to pay the full price (although citizens can donate, but they rarely, if ever, donate much) before a new building will be built. Cities: Skylines has a loan and debt system, but the income is automatic. If you keep your city happy and new citizens continually coming in, your income will be more than your expenses. Also, all loans must be paid back in full rather than little by little.

That kind of system is a new thing for me. It takes a lot of patience! Thankfully, making bells (the game’s currency) is easy, but it’s time-consuming and if you have a high debt to pay off, it’ll take a long time if you don’t play around the clock. You can “time-travel”, but I don’t want to manipulate the game’s time. It feels like cheating to me, even though it isn’t.

The town itself grows slowly, but the population grows quickly. It seems every other day, someone new moves into my town. It’s pretty much a Happyland, but that’s fine with me. I’m trying to run a town! I don’t need citizens fighting!

Another thing that’s different from Sims is there’s no instant delivery. Whatever you buy, you have to take to your home yourself. Renovations aren’t completed until 6 AM on the next morning. You also have to buy clothes and have a closet or some kind of storage to store them in. Only in Sims 2 was that the case. In Sims 3 and 4, you could just click your character to change their outfit and you got “new clothes” by changing their outfits in the create mode. It was a bit annoying in Sims 2, but I don’t mind it in AC: NL because the clothing store isn’t far and the clothes change is instant.

If I were the type who over-analyzed everything, I’d say there’s a message in a human running a town of animals. I did my think my character was weird-looking at first, but she’s grown on me, so I see her as kind of cute. She was also klutzy for a while. She kept tripping when she ran with her parasol. Luckily, that was a one-day thing.

Overall, the game is cute and cool, and I’m having a great time with it. I feel sorry for my citizens when the “newness” wears off, though. Those poor animals will be abandoned for months! I hope they’re better at taking care of themselves than sims are when left to their own devices!

Not All The Fandom

No, that is not a play on a certain series of Twitter tags.

Back in March, I wrote a furious rant about something that happened to me from someone within Winx Club’s fandom. I’m still angry about that, mainly because I never received so much as an apology for it, although I never expected to. She lied. She spread false rumors. Why would she apologize when she, and some of the fandom, think that’s right? Not to mention, she prided herself on never sending hate to people. The idea of hatemail being frowned upon while lying and false accusations are okay is not an idea I’m interested in understanding.

However, I made sure to mention I had no hate for the few friends I have within the fandom and lately, I’ve been talking to those friends. I entrusted one of them in particular with that incident and wouldn’t you know? She agreed lying about me was “petty and immature” (to use her words). It turned out we also do hold similar opinions about the show. She chooses not to be so vocal about her complaint because she feels there’s no point in complaining. I can’t say she’s wrong, but when has that ever stopped most people from complaining?

In fact, her frustration is not with the complaints about the show, but the frequency of the same complaints. I never hung around as much social media for Winx as she does, but from what she tells me, she sees a certain complaint over and over and over again. She genuinely does understand why the fans who make that complaint feel the way they do, but seeing it so many is what bothers her. I agree with the complaint, but I can’t say she’s wrong. It’s like feeling sympathy for someone going through a rough time. The first time they vent to you, you’re all ears because you’re a good friend and care about them. But after the tenth time of the exact same complaining, you’re exhausted, not because you don’t care about them anymore, but because they’re not saying anything new.

It’s remembering there are people like her in the fandom – fans who may be irritated, but can still maintain respect and not be angry somebody doesn’t think like them – that makes me feel a little guilty for leaving the fandom solely because of that incident back in March. I feel like I blamed the entire fandom when it was only one person who lied and made those false accusations about me. That’s not right. I truly don’t doubt that person’s followers believe she was right for her lies, but I’m almost certain my friend above also follows that blog, yet she didn’t think lying was right. I can’t hold her or my other friends responsible for what someone else did. I can’t hold the people who think that person was right responsible either. Yes, they excused it, but they still didn’t do it.

I still have no plans to rejoin the Winx fandom, but I do ask about it every so often. It seems it’s quiet for the time-being because they’re waiting for the new spin-off. I personally have no expectations, but I hope it’s everything they’re wishing for.

The one lesson I can say I’ve heard from all this? Taking into consideration my experience with fandoms in general so far, it’d have to be: There are good and bad shows, but there is no such thing as a good fandom. Good fandoms don’t exist.”

I know I’m generalizing, but that’s what I’ve come to believe. The Winx fandom was the worst experience because of that incident back in March, but it certainly wasn’t the only bad experience with a fandom at all.

The Reset Button

I’m part of a Facebook group for depression and self-harm support, and someone recently posted this image.

Some people said yes and some said no. The answers were about evenly spread. Mine was as follows:

I want to say yes, but I’d lose my boyfriend and best friend, so I say no.

There’s more to it than that, but I didn’t want to go deep into answering the question at the moment.

If I reset my life, I’d lose everything, which means my life would most likely happen identically to how it already has. Resetting would be pointless. I might grow up in a different generation if resetting mean simply reverting to my life to newborn instead of reversing time as well, but that’s it.

I used to say I would go back in time and prevent my existence if I could. On occasion, I still feel that way, but the feeling is rare now. Were this question posed to me back in 2012 and I would retain memory of my current life, I would be tempted to say yes, if only to fix the mistakes I’ve made. However, the full truth is I’d prefer death over repeating any part of my life prior to 2012.

No, I’m not totally in love with my life as it is now. I’m having a hard time. I’ve yet to be able to find a job, I can’t return to school for at least two more years, my family is irreparable, and I live with someone whose biggest priority is how my hair looks, to the point I’ve had to assure certain people there isn’t any sexual abuse going on in my house because without the knowledge he’s a family member, he sounds like a controlling partner. I don’t see myself as an adult and feel like a worthless member of society much of the time. I could definitely be doing better.

At the same time, it’s taken me a long time to finally reach a point where I can genuinely feel glad I have my life. My best friend and my boyfriend aren’t the only reasons I’m happy, but they are a big part of why I feel the way do. If I were somehow promised they’d be waiting for me, I still would refuse the chance to reset my life. Why miss out on that time with them? Not to mention how unfair it’d be to have them wait on me or forcibly reset their lives along with mine.

Naturally, my feelings do flip-flop a lot, but overall, my answer at the moment to this question is no. No, I would not reset my life if given the chance. I’m not willing to go through everything I’ve experienced again and I’m absolutely unwilling to lose any more people than I’ve already lost.