I Hate Origin

Self-explanatory title.

A few days ago, EA released a patch for The Sims 3. Since Sims 3’s run ended two years, I was surprised they’d make something for the game and didn’t think much of downloading it. I now very much regret. The update tied Sims 3 to Origin, so the only way to play is to log in. One of the reasons I liked Sims 3 over Sims 4 was not needing to sign in.

To say I was angry would be an understatement. I despise Origin and this stunt made my hatred for EA multiply by numbers I didn’t even know existed. I couldn’t figure out how to go back to previous update, so in the end, I uninstalled all of my Sims 3 games and am now sticking solely with Sims 2.

I’m still finding it hard to believe the company that started my Sims addiction is the same one that murdered it. I guess the upside is I regained about 30 GB of space on my computer.

And yes, I’m well aware many companies are switching solely to digital downloads. However, I do not trust them. I don’t like the idea of paying for something and being unable to have it. Why did I pay for it then?!

If I lose or damage one of my game discs, I can replace it. Having to game tied to Origin means I don’t have any control over that. If EA decides to shut down Origin, everybody loses their games. Same thing if – heaven forbid – their website ends up becoming hacked (Target, anyone?). Basically, it’s up to their discretion whether any person can play it or not. Regardless of the fact that person paid for it, the company (EA in this example) doesn’t have to permit them to play the game. And considering EA has won the title for being the worst company twice in a row, I wouldn’t put it past them to do something of the sort.

I have no idea if there will be a Sims 5, but if there is, it seems I won’t be a part of it, even if the game is amazing in my opinion. I would delete my Origin/EA account entirely, but there’s no way to do so without contacting support (they say it’s for “security purposes”; yeah, right) and I don’t want to talk to any of Origin’s staff, period!

I hope everyone who’s having fun with the games continues to have fun and enjoys being tied to Origin. As much as I love and miss Sims 3, I don’t like being tied and I refuse to be a part of that nuisance. If that’s going to eventually mean I’ll never be able to play PC games again (or new ones anyway), so be it. Thankfully, there are other platforms and other games that I can pay for and actually possess.

Too Little Time

I didn’t write anything for the entire month of October. In contrast to why I usually don’t write, I had a fair amount to write about. I avoided it because I don’t want this blog to center around one thing. This blog is supposed to be about my life and my life does not revolve around any one aspect.

However, I want to keep this blog alive for as long as possible. I’ve also been thinking I shouldn’t be fearful of sharing what I want to share. Repetitiveness does get boring, but the idea behind this blog is it’s my thoughts and feelings at a certain point of time. They’re going to be the same for a while until something changes them. So, I will share them.

What I’m thinking of today is time. Right now, outside of my family, the person I spend the most time with is my boyfriend. Not because I’m choosing him over my friends, but because he has the most free time of them. With the seasons changing, nightfall is happening earlier and it’s getting harder to get together. Regardless of who visits who, it’s a 1 to 1 1/2 hour ride for one of us to get to each other, and that’s if there are no delays. That means we already have to cut at least two hours out of our time.

When we do get together, something happens. No matter how much time we have, whether it’s five hours or ten, it seems like time goes at twice its speed. It never feels long enough. I feel happy we had the time together, but sad I have to leave because I only want to stay. I know we’ll get together again soon and it’ll only be a few days between our next day together, but I never want the one we’re having to end.

If I were still 17 years old and reading this, I’d probably be rolling my eyes because it sounds ridiculously saccharine and dramatic. If someone told me at 17 I’d be doing the things I am in four years, I’d believe they lost their mind on the planet Mars. Nevertheless, it’s how I feel and it’s not a feeling I’m ashamed of having.

Yes, I know life isn’t a fairytale. I know romantic relationships do not solve all of life’s problems like they do in some stories. I never counted on that or had such an expectation. What I did count on was having another person in my life who would make me happy and who I could make happy in return. That’s what I got. There’s no day I’m unhappy he’s here.

I believe the best moments are when we both become drowsy and begin falling asleep. Sometimes, only of us falls asleep while the other is lying there. I love those moments because that’s when time feels like it’s standing still for once and I could lay next to him for an eternity. Of course, we can’t feel any emotion because we’re sleeping, but it’s waking up to silence and only the sight of him next to me that makes those moments so pleasantly surreal, even if we were only sleeping for a half hour.

I’ve heard and read this kind of thinking is a phase or meaningless because it’s only the first year of our relationship and/or we don’t live together. In fact, I was told that by someone who was no older than I was, although that person’s only intent was antagonizing me. I’m not sure about a phase, but I can’t say it’s meaningless. Nothing that and no one who makes you feel joy, love, and merely happy to be alive is meaningless.

Your Judgement Isn’t Important

Anger is swirling inside me right now.

I spent the whole day with my boyfriend. As always, I had a great time. However, we accidentally left his home a bit too late and, as a result, I had to take a much later train home than I intended. It was a genuine accident and we know we have to be more careful now.

So, why am I angry? Because when I sent a message to my uncle to let him know I’d be late, we got into a discussion about it and at one point, he said this to me: “He’s not important.”

“He” is referring to my boyfriend, of course. This isn’t the first time my uncle’s said that either and, frankly, I’m becoming less and less tolerant of these comments. I ignore them because my boyfriend doesn’t hear them, which is what I care about most, and they do not affect either of us personally. I don’t expect him to be considered important to anyone in my family. They don’t know him. But to say he’s not important at all? No!

Not only is he important to me, he is important as a person overall. Why? Let me break it up:

  • He was upset about being late and blamed himself for it. (Empathy)
  • He saw to it that I got on the train I needed and wouldn’t be any later than I already was. (Responsibility)
  • He told me to call him when I got home because he wanted to know I made it home safely. (Caring/Concern)
  • He apologized again after I called him. (Kindness)

There’s much more than that, but those are the ones relevant to this instance. You don’t have to be a big shot to be important. Everyone is important to at least two people: themselves and someone else. And I certainly hope he considers himself as important and valuable as I consider him.

I’ve told my boyfriend enough about my family for him to be able to make some scathing comments of his own, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know them just like they don’t know him, yet he manages to be the bigger person in this matter. I love him for that, and I love him overall and the devil will have to rise before I let my family decide who I should deem important and unimportant. I could deem several of my uncle’s past relationships unimportant, but that wouldn’t make me any more mature than him, and they’re not mine to place a value on anyway. So, I don’t.

Getting in deeper, my boyfriend is one of the three people (the other two are my best friend, and high school clinician) who’s had – and still continues to have – a huge positive impact on me and my life. He’s important to my health, my well-being, and me as a person. He’s added a lot to me and my life I don’t want to ever have taken. He’s become another reason I’m happy I did not take my life years ago when I was heavily suicidal. I didn’t know him around the time and thinking that I so easily never could’ve saddens me. Heck, when I think about how it was pure luck I met him (I randomly decided to log into OKC after being fed up with it), I feel a bit stunned.

Yes, he is very important to me and I prioritize him. Sure, sometimes, other things come first because different things need attention at different times, but he and our relationship absolutely are a priority for me and unless the day comes when we decide to cut ties (which I hope will never happen), that’s how my priorities will always be. No amount of mean comments will make me regret that.

How About Taking Turns?

“Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to.”

Out of all the rules I ever heard as a child, I think I hate this one the most.

Why? For starters, it has nothing to do with politeness. It’s simply used to shut a small kid up.

Just like the rule of saying nothing at all if you can’t say anything nice, this one gets lost on the path to adulthood. It’s also impossible. If no one spoke unless someone to spoke to them, no one would be able to speak at all. Somebody has to speak first. According to this, that “someone” must always and only be an adult. I want to know why an adult’s words are, by default, considered more valuable than a child’s.

I live with a family that spends half their time spouting racist and sexist nonsense all day. Nobody speaks to them first. They just blurt it out every now and then. What value is this? By contrast, I once babysat a little girl and she started telling me about her family’s trip to Florida. I didn’t ask her to and I didn’t say a word to her. She just did because she wanted to talk. Now, guess which one I’d rather hear.

If this rule is about not interrupting people, fine. That works, but should apply to adults too. It’s rude to interrupt anyone. But otherwise, someone has to speak first, and it’s fine if that “someone” is a child at times. That’s how we make friends. It’s how relationships are formed. It’s how people connect.

This rule needs to either be thrown in the garbage or replaced with something more sensible.

Also, I’ve heard this same rule was once applied, not only to children, but also to women. Admittedly, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but if it is, that alone is enough for me to consider this rule extremely outdated. This is not 1915.

Windows 10? It’ll Keep Waiting.

Several weeks ago, I reserved a free upgrade for Windows 10. I figured since it’s the most recent version, I should have it. However, shortly after I received my copy, I started having second thoughts.

First off, the only reason I have Windows 8 is due to buying a new computer. I honestly prefer Windows 7. Windows 8’s format belongs on a tablet, not a computer. Second, I read about people having several problems with Windows 10. Such as:

  • Losing everything on their PC, even after selecting the option to keep it (yes, I know you’re warned to back up your stuff, but if they include an option to let you keep your stuff and that doesn’t even work, it sounds like Windows 10 is busted)
  • Their computer becoming very sluggish or freezing completely.
  • Certain games no longer working due to incompatibility with Windows 10, even after it was stated those games would continue working

It might be a short list of problems, but they’re pretty severe ones. So far, the only reasons I’ve read for updating to Windows 10 refer to visual appeal and as nice that is, it’s not worth those problems above. Even if I do back up my stuff, I’d be extremely angry if the upgrade wiped out everything. If I wanted to wipe out all of my data, I’d do a factory reset on my computer.

I think the only way I’ll get Windows 10 is the same way I got Windows 8 – if I buy a new computer. Since this computer is working well, that’ll be a long time away, if it ever happens. Until then, my copy is going to keep waiting…and waiting…and waiting.

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

…don’t say anything at all.

That was something I heard from my mother more times than I can count. Here’s something else I can’t count: the number of people who don’t follow that supposed rule.

Really, where did this saying even come from? I’ve never met a single person who abides by this, including myself. It’s not really possible to avoid things that aren’t so nice. Maybe if everyone in the world was a nice person, but that’s not how the world is.

However, if this expression is referring to unnecessary mean comments, I could agree. Nobody follows it, but it makes more sense. If I found out someone had stolen from me, for example, I’m completely justified in calling them a thief. I wouldn’t be justified in calling them a slur like the n-word.

There’s also the possibility this expression just means not to say unkind things to someone’s face, which is the definition I chose to take with it years ago. Of course, I don’t think talking trash about someone behind their back is much better. Unless they’ve hurt you somehow (in which case, you’re probably venting more than anything), you’re more exposing your own character, not theirs.

Personally, I think this is one of those expressions that needs to die out. Regardless of what meaning it’s taken for, it really may as well be meaningless. Everybody is going to have something unkind to say about someone, and they will say it. It may be within reason. It may not be. But they will.

Things Change

I’ve been going through my archives every now and then. I post so infrequently because I have little to talk about, but it sometimes amuses me how much things have changed since I wrote some of the posts I did. And how much some things have not changed.

I’ve noticed one thing changing for certain. My tolerance level for my family. It seems the longer I stay with them, the lower it gets. Most of my time is spent thinking about how to get away from them. Funnily enough, a lot of the negative emotions I feel only happen around them. When I’m away from home, whether it’s by myself or with my friends, they vanish like they were never there to begin with.

My mom and sister have left my life completely. Why, I don’t know. The last I remember is my mom being mad at me for something between her and my dad. I’m clueless as to what I had to do with it. Whenever I eventually move out on my own (or with someone else), I don’t exactly plan to maintain much contact with my family here. Sometimes, I swear I’m going to have a mental breakdown someday from being so aggravated with them.