Goodbye, Sims 4

I talked about Sims 4 before on this blog, when I got some hate thrown at me for not being excited about the game. I can’t say I was wrong. To me, this game is a mess.

I did like it for a while, but it couldn’t hold my interest. Even when I did like it, I could only play it for 2-3 hours. Eventually, the time I could enjoy it lessened and it reached the point where this game was making me yawn within 5-10 minutes of playing. Creating sims, building, and moving things around were fun, but playing with them? No.

I’ve uninstalled it and I don’t miss it at all. I’m not interested in anything for it simply because no amount of new content can fix most of my problems with the game. Continue reading

I’m Scared

There. I said it.

What am I scared of? A lot of things, but this in particular.

I’ve been struggling so much about what to do regarding college and reading things like this only confirms my fears.

Science-related subjects are considered to be the most lucrative careers that exist.  I’ve never heard anyone speak lowly of pursuing these degrees and, in my experience, you’re told you’ll always have a job because they’re in high demand. When people say they got college degrees and still can’t find work or are stuck in dead-end jobs, it’s typically assumed they got a “useless” degree, such as something in art, philosophy, or gender studies.

This just tells me you can work hard and still not get anywhere. It seems like it doesn’t even matter. I already fear returning to college for a degree and ending up right back where I started, but what I want to major in is art-related. To go for something in STEM and still end up right back where I started? I’d kick myself for the rest of my life.

On top of that, I’ve been told there are many different paths to success, but I can only find three. Go to college, go to trade school, or find a job and work your way up. I’ve heard of trade school being more profitable than college, especially because you’re not saddled with debt for an extremely long time, but I can’t think of a single trade I’d be capable of. If web design or art/animation were a trade, I’d go for one of those, but unfortunately, they’re not. I’ve also heard, unlike college, you cannot get financial assistance for trade school. You have to pay for it out of your own pocket. I’m still unemployed, so that’s not possible. My only option is finding a job, which I am having a very hard time with.

The only thing I’m sure of right now is that I am a terrible adult. I cannot figure anything out. I’ve been an adult for three years now and I still have no clue how to be one. I’m already upset that I can’t avoid debt, meaning I will owe someone or something money for as long as I live, and I’m honestly afraid I am always going to be in this position. If I end up going back to school, I want that venture to pay off. Not to throw shots at anyone, but I do not want to end up like my mother, going back to school multiple times in an attempt to better my life and getting nowhere except into more debt.

It’s terrifying and I know adults are supposed to do everything themselves (pretty much the point of being an adult), but I wish I had someone to guide me through all of this and help me get somewhere. I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing or how I’m going to get myself anywhere except where I’m already at. I know what I want. I can’t figure out how to get it. I wish adulthood came with a manual for these situations.

Really, all I want is not to be so useless. Clearly, I’m not doing that well.

Is Debt Inevitable?

There are three things in life I want to avoid: debt, pregnancy, and abusive relationships. The latter two aren’t a problem. The first? Apparently impossible.

I already have a small debt from attending college previously, and I want to avoid more, but it seems that may be the only way I can get anywhere. I genuinely want to attend school again, especially since it’s supposed to heighten the chances of finding work, but if all it earns me is crippling debt I can never pay off and I end up exactly where I started, I’ll end up kicking myself into outer space.

The number of people I’ve heard of who return to school again and again in an attempt to better their career chances honestly frightens me. My own mother has been attending school since I was fifteen years old, and she still has yet to hold even one job. My ex (if you can call someone you had a one-month relationship with that) is 28 and has been to school multiple times, and has gone through several different jobs. He once told me he’d join the military as a last resort. I’m not going that far!

It doesn’t help that the only things I have a chance in could hardly be considered lucrative. They may be worth a shot, but if I fail, I’m out of luck and no amount of learning will make tens of thousands of dollars of debt disappear.

It seems debt is an inevitable part of adulthood. If I avoid it, I’ll never get anywhere. If I risk it, I may end up even worse than I was before, not to mention wanting to slam my head for being so freaking useless as an adult!

This is really the only thing holding me back. $3,500 is nothing compared to the debt most people have, and I can’t even pay that! There’s no way I deal with $50,000 or whatever I could potentially end up with.

There are a lot of people who say “think positive” in regards to situations like this and it honestly just makes me want to tell them to go screw themselves. Not because I hate optimism, but because “thinking positive” has led to nothing but trouble. It’s how my mom ended up with me, for crying out loud, and that certainly didn’t end well!

No Alcohol Here…

It’s April 27th, and what does that mean? Yes! It’s finally my birthday!! I am 21 years old! Ah, but no drinking me for me. Instead, I am celebrating with seafood. I’m going out to Red Lobster later on in the day.

In the meantime, here’s my birthday cake. Can’t wait to tear into it!

Had to scribble out the name because “Kaye” is not what’s on the cake

If you flip it around, Anna is on the other side.