An Angel I See

This past Saturday, my eight-year-old cousin came to visit. I don’t see her often, but I love spending time with her. She’s a sweet, typical kid. Loves cartoons, loves to play games, loves being silly, and she’s fairly quiet, though she seems to be growing out of that. She was quieter when she was younger than she is now. The first time she ever came to visit (I think she was five), the only sound she made was when she cried about simply walking to the back room alone. Now, she has no problem with our house and will respond without trouble if you talk to her.

In my eyes, my cousin is an ideal child. Well-behaved, patient, able to sit quietly and occupy herself, polite. Out of all the times I’ve been with her, she threw a tantrum one time. And she had reason because she was tired and had been abruptly woken up. I couldn’t blame her. Nobody likes being woken up, especially not in such a rush.

Every now and then, I think if it were guaranteed my first child would be like my cousin, I’d consider being a parent. However, experiences like the above knock me back down the Earth. I don’t doubt my cousin is well-behaved most of the time, but in truth, I can only make that judgment based on the small amount of time I spend with her and what my aunt (her grandmother) tells me. At most, I only spend a few hours with my cousin when one of us visits the other. I see the sweet, playful side of her because, unless she ever feels like throwing fits for a day, there’s no reason for her to behave any differently in the few hours I’m with her.

Even if I spent a full 24 hours with her, I may not see much difference in her behavior. She would have people to pay attention to her, she knows she is wanted and loved, she has plenty of things to play with, and she has more than enough to eat if she’s hungry. The only way I’d see anything different from what I know of her is if someone or something agitated her, which, from what I hear, is rare.

It’s unrealistic to expect anyone to be proper 100% of the time, let alone a child who still has a lot of growing and learning to do. Most kids stop throwing tantrums around my cousin’s age, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they know how to deal with unpleasant feelings. If I spent a week with my cousin, chances are I’d see fits, some stubbornness, and some sadness or even anger. No matter how angelic I see her as, the fact remains she is human, not a flat character in a TV show. Spending 24/7 with her is much different than a few hours, especially if she spends that time occupying herself and not needing or wanting someone’s attention.

When I was a child, I often got upset at myself for not being perfect. I actually thought something was wrong with me (being asked by an adult what’s wrong with me didn’t help either) because I couldn’t be perfect like everyone else seemed to, or I couldn’t be good like I was the previous day. When I was old enough to seriously think about parenting, I envisioned my child always being happy and loving because they’d have no reason to ever be upset. I hadn’t yet learned that nobody is perfect and it’s okay because perfection does not exist. Children are going to act out from time to time, no matter how well their parents are raising them, because people make mistakes. I wish someone had to told me as a child, “It’s alright you feel this way. You just can’t [whatever I did that was inappropriate].” Honestly, even as an adult, I don’t see the point in punishing a kid because they’re unhappy.

My little cousin reminds me of childhood and what it was like to be so young, innocent, and joyful. And while I know it can’t last forever, I do hope, unlike me, she is able to grow and mature at her own pace instead of having to be hurried into it.

Bullying

There are three topics that get deeply under my skin: abortion, rape, and bullying. This post is about the last of those three.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2604933/Mother-speaks-11-year-old-sons-suicide-attempt-teased-carrying-My-Little-Pony-backpack.html

This 11-year-old child was driven to suicide because his a**hole little classmates wouldn’t stop bullying him. And no, I do not care that I just called a group of kids a**holes. Why should I? Look what they did to this kid!

I dealt with bullying every year I was in school. I know what it feels like. I know how it feels to be suicidal. Knowing what happened to this child makes me want to bust through a wall. What really angers me is many people would say the kid simply shouldn’t have kept the backpack. Why? Because a bunch of little f***ing brats don’t know how to behave?! If it were possible and I were in charge of the school, I’d round up every kid who tortured this child, make them apologize to his face, and suspend them from school.

Moreso, this is one of the big reasons I do not want to be a parent. If this boy were my son, I would’ve found a way to bring down hell on Earth for him having to deal with that nonsense. And if one of his bullies were my child, his/her life would become miserable. No, I wouldn’t hit them or even yell at them. Just strip them of every privilege available for a period of time and have them apologize to that child directly with a gift included.

I hated school when I was attending and I still hate it, despite that I no longer attend. Why? This. In fact, I’d say I hate it even more because this nonsense is still happening and it always will be.

Something doesn’t add up here…

Normally, if I make a post for commentary, it’s on a site article or blog post. This time, it’s on a response at Yahoo Answers.

On YA, a girl asked why people say not to become teen parents when many claim to have beat the odds and become successful. Most of the answers explain why and then, there’s this:

Why not? If you have a strong relationship, stable income, and the ability to finish school, there is no problem. I mean it. I’m planning my second child at eighteen. I’m a high school senior taking all AP and Honors classes. We live in a nice four bedroom home. I’m married to my daughter’s father. My daughter is a smart, happy, and healthy two year old. She’s learning English, Spanish, and Japanese. She can sing her ABC’s and count to ten in all three languages. We are a happy family with a flourishing business. We had income even when I was fifteen and he was sixteen. We’re smart and know how to bring in money (yes, legally). Why does that bug people? We are causing no harm to anyone. We aren’t harming our daughter either. We aren’t taking in benefits and instead pay sales, business, and income tax. We are productive, normal members of society.

The whole “go to college, buy a house, travel” thing is bullsh*t in my opinion because it’s not a requirement before an adult chooses to have children. Only 27% of Americans have a college degree. Only 60% own homes. 68% of children are growing up in a single parent household. 71% of pregnancies to woman 20-29 are unplanned.

In my opinion, if you can make it work, go ahead. It was our choice to be young parents. We planned out the rest of our lives when we were young. So far everything has worked as planned. I still want to study to become a doctor, he just recently opened up his shop. Our daughter is always ahead on her milestones. The expectations should be the same for both adults and teens. Age isn’t enough to determine if a couple can handle children or not.

Now, I realize I don’t know much, but this doesn’t sound very plausible to me for a few reasons.

  1. She is supposedly 18 years old and her husband is a year older than her, but she claims to live in a four-bedroom house. Who would sell a house to a couple that young, especially when one of them is still in high school? Doesn’t that mean there’s a chance she was sold the house before she reached the age of majority? Is that even legal?
  2. She claims she and her husband have a flourishing business and they had income even when she was sixteen and he was fifteen. Tell me, how can teenagers run a business?
  3. This might be irrelevant, but where on Earth were this girl’s parents? I would love to know how they were able to allow their teenage daughter to run an actual business before she was even a legal adult.
  4. She says she wants to study to become a doctor and her husband recently opened a shop. Unless he runs that shop from inside their home or takes their child to work with him, I’m assuming this kid is in daycare. She’s planning for a second kid. Unless she’s going to go to medical school part-time (is that possible?), who’s going to watch that second kid if her husband is working? Unless her or his parents are doing it for them.

This Makes Me Uneasy…

I know I’ve done serious posts before, but nothing like this. This actually makes me sick.

Yesterday, on one of the forums I frequent, a member posted this video. I’ll give you a heads-up before you click it. The video is of a father whipping his two teen daughters with an electrical cord for making a “twerking” (butt-shaking) video on Facebook.

I’m not a parent and have no plans to be one. I don’t feel I can judge anyone’s parenting. But watching this video just brought up bad childhood memories for me. There’s a point in the video where one of the girls shouts, “I’m sorry, Daddy!” As if seeing the punishment wasn’t enough, hearing that did it for me.

What that father did to his daughters is the same thing my mother did to me. The earliest I can remember is age seven. My mother denies any account of it happening, but my childhood isn’t that blurry. I’m not even sure if it was abuse or not because some say it is and some say it isn’t because no marks or bruises were left. I really have no idea. All I know is I now have a strong resolve of never allowing someone to hit me ever again.

I would say if it’s abuse, I hope law enforcement sees this and interferes, but I know how much worse that could make these girls’ lives. No abuser will be make their actions blatant because they know the potential consequences. Of course, it could turn out differently than what I know, but that’s not likely since these girls are teens.

I hope this doesn’t sound creepy, but I wish these girls lived near me and we were friends so I could bring them gifts or something. If they’re anything like me, they’re fine by now, but something is still lingering and I don’t mean the physical pain. Sorry if that doesn’t make sense.

Questions and a Gun

Source: Tennessee 3-year-old Shoots Himself With Handgun That Was Left Out

Yesterday, I came across the above story. As the title basically explains, a three-year-old boy from Tennessee shot himself with a gun that was left out. According to the article, the boy’s aunt left the gun out while she tended to her own son, her nephew got to it and he fatally shot himself in the head.

Let’s get the obvious question out of the way: Who leaves a gun within reach of a child?!?!

Good. Now, the only thing I know about the guns is that they’re deadly and I’d prefer to stay a thousand feet away from one. I don’t like guns because they’re used to kill. Yes, I know that’s what they’re for and that’s precisely why I don’t like them. Besides stories like this, I’m personally against hunting, which is part of the reason I’m considering being a vegetarian when I can finally support myself.

That said, I don’t think guns should be illegal. My only reason would be that I dislike them and that’s not right. However, from the little knowledge I have, the right to own a gun has come under fire due to the Sandy Hook tragedy in Connecticut that happened in December (a story that spread so fast, my friend all the way in the United Kingdom heard about it!). There are people who want to outright ban owning guns – something the UK did in 1996, apparently due to a primary school shooting that occurred that year and they haven’t had another school shooting since – and people who just want stricter regulations, the latter of which is my view.

Unfortunately, tragedies like this and others are going to happen and I don’t think taking away a right because some people are stupid (call me judgmental and whatnot) is the answer. People are killed by: vehicles, knives, heavy objects falling on them, prescription and over-the-counter medication, falling from extreme heights, alcoholism, abuse of illegal drugs, etc. Out of all those things, only one is against the law and people still get ahold of them anyway. That doesn’t mean it should be legal, of course. My point is everything cannot be banned.

Something else I want to point out is that, while I was browsing a forum, some people suggested the story could be false. Not because they believe tragedies like this don’t occur, but because it’s questionable how a small child could have the strength to pull the trigger. I have no idea how heavy a gun or the its trigger could be, but some stated that they themselves aren’t strong enough to even cock a certain gun, let alone fire it. If an adult can’t cock a gun, I also find it odd how a three-year-old could fire one, let alone fire it at his skull. As much as I’d hate to think someone might have shot this child, it’s possible. Of course, the idea of that raises more questions.

All I can say for now is I hope this woman will be more cautious of where she leaves her gun and teach her son to never go near it.

I’m Not Sure If This Is Badly Funny Or Just Pitiful

Last night, my grandfather stayed home from work because he was drunk. Fourth time, I think. I really wish he had gone to work because I wouldn’t have heard the nonsense I’m about to tell you.

I won’t repeat it all here, but basically, he spent a good half hour on the phone expressing some homophobic and transphobic crap. The things he said were just disgusting. I’m not sure if his friend agreed or not because I could only hear him, but it seemed like his friend disagreed.

Apparently, they were talking about the transgender six-year-old whose parents sued the school for not letting her use the girls’ bathroom. Now, admittedly, I think that’s a bit much, but as for the child being transgender and considering herself to be a girl instead of a boy as she was physically born? I say there’s nothing wrong with that.

Really, what’s the issue? The kid feels like she should’ve been born female and not male. A lot of people say six is too young to know something like that, but I disagree. Sometimes, you just know early on. Maybe you don’t realize it or have the word for it yet, but you just know a certain thing about you. When I was a kid, I often said I liked girls. I only meant I would rather be friends with girls, but I do remember thinking I would rather marry a girl because boys were too rough or mean. What’s my sexuality? Exactly. I think I knew back then, but just didn’t realize it until my teen years.

I get that my grandfather’s from a very different generation, but I don’t think that’s an excuse because I’ve met people his age and older who weren’t bigots. He simply decides that anything he doesn’t like is wrong, whether or not it actually is. He said allowing this child to be transgender is child abuse – that the parents were forcing her – and she should be taken away. No. The parents made too big a scene, I think, but it’s not child abuse for them to allow their male-to-female transgender child to be who she is. He went so far as to say kids like that grow up confused and shoot up places because of it. No, if they shoot up places, it’s because of bigots like him. Not that I think anybody, even bigots, deserve to be killed, but that kind of nonsense can push someone over the edge and if not homicide, it’ll be suicide. Tragedy either way.

My feelings on this whole thing can really be summed up in these few words: Can’t we just act like decent human beings, love each other and shut the heck up?!

Obviously, no, but it’s a thought.

Coy Mathis

What a cute little girl!

It was that simple?!

Today, I spent some time with my aunt and six-year-old cousin (second aunt and third cousin, actually). We were supposed to hang around the mall, but the little one wasn’t feeling well, so we didn’t stay long. While she was resting, I started playing around with her Disney’s Rapunzel doll. Since it’s Rapunzel, this doll had way too much hair!

One thing I’ve wanted to do that I couldn’t before was braids. I hate braids in my hair, but they’re a nice style. Whenever I tried braids before, they did not stay. They came loose or I ended up making a knot. Since there’s not much to do with a sick six-year-old trying to sleep, I looked up on WikiHow how to do braids and practiced on her doll.

I couldn’t believe how easy it was! I followed the instructions directly and got it perfect! I did it a few more times and I got the hang of it easily! I can’t believe I couldn’t do something so simple! Here’s what I ended up doing to the doll:

The little braid was made from three smaller braids.

It took me a while to do, especially because, naturally, this doll’s hair had a ridiculous amount of tangles, but it didn’t take too long and it was kind of fun. I might buy this doll for myself just to play with the hair.