Less Tolerance

Something I’ve noticed about myself lately is I don’t have as much tolerance as I used to.

By “tolerance”, I mean patience, not bigotry. Granted, I’ve never had much patience, but it seems the more time passes, I have even less. My 16-year-old self actually had a ton more patience and tolerance than my 21-year-old self does.

I have less tolerance for putting up with things and people that aggravate me. I either find a way to avoid the annoyance completely or simply get on with it so I can forget about it as quickly as possible. I still get into arguments every so often, but even those have become less frequent. I’d rather let someone think what they want than argue in circles with them.

I don’t know if my shortened patience comes from it being easier to ignore those things and people, or feeling like it’s simply not worth my time. Maybe it’s both. I will say it’s been very effective. It’s saved me quite a few headaches. Perhaps it’s one of those tings that develops naturally as you get older? I’ve heard the older you get, the more you learn not to mind what other people think. I suppose this is similar.

That doesn’t mean I ignore everyone I disagree with. It just means I don’t continue arguments that aren’t serving any purpose except causing me stress.  Really, all that’ll happen in the end is everyone will keep their opinions, so there’s not much point in the first place.

I wonder how long it’ll be before I reached the point of “I’m not having this discussion” and begin walking away before a heated discussion can even begin. I might have to start heavily evaluating myself that day.

How Not To Handle Disagreements

Yesterday, May 28th, was supposed to be a day for people to share their abortion stories on Twitter under the #WomensHealth tag. Notice I said supposed. That’s because it didn’t turn out that way. Instead, pro-lifers took the event for themselves and made it theirs, so instead of sharing experiences, it was full of the typical arguments you hear from that side. Naturally, anyone who supported abortion was attacked. To sum it up for myself, I was called a murderer several times (stopped counting after twenty), spammed with bloody and gory pictures, told I was going to Hell, and told I have no common sense because I am an atheist. Two people also went on to make fun of my sexual orientation (that is the third time; what is it with the orientation hate when it comes to debating abortion?)

(To anyone who may want to participate in such events in the future, go ahead, but I’m warning you. It becomes the equivalent of a bar brawl. If abortion was debated out in the streets, the whole country would literally split apart, state by state. I’m sincerely surprised it’s still intact as it is.)

One person I got into a verbal struggle took to not only calling me names, but making assumptions about me. A lot of assumptions. I don’t want to go dig it up, as I’m avoiding Twitter for a while because I don’t need the heat, but after going back and forth for a while, she came to the conclusion I am:

  • Materialistic
  • Selfish (unsurprisingly)
  • An idiot
  • Unfinished with school. In fact, she came to the belief I didn’t complete elementary school.
  • Retarded. No, she didn’t directly say this, but she used every word she could to get around it.

Obviously, since we were on opposite sides, we weren’t going to agree, but what’s the point in saying things like what’s on that list? You’re not making a point. You’ve just resorted to insulting someone. That does not help your case at all.

And yes, I did attempt to end it, but even after I stopped responding for a while, she went on. On top of that, some other people joined in with this, although they cheered her on in insulting me rather than doing it directly themselves. Eventually, I got tired and went to sleep for the night. What happened when I woke up seven hours later? My notifications were blown up while I slept! I didn’t bother to read all of them, so I don’t know if they’re from the same people or different ones, but I was honestly stunned. These people were so mad, they blew up my inbox for seven hours?

You’d think I’d be mad, but I wasn’t. Even I’m a little shocked by my own reaction. All those insults would normally infuriate me, but if anything, they bored me. I was angry they wouldn’t stop bothering, but the insults really didn’t upset me as much. My only retort to this woman was that she’s presumptuous, which she is to make all of those assumptions about me because I refused to agree with her. At one point, it wasn’t even about abortion anymore. It was just about her trying to show me up and having a fit because I wouldn’t change my stance.

The more I think about this, the more I wonder if those things have to do with her. No, I am not trying to say she is stupid or such, but it seems like when people jump to conclusions like that about someone else, it has more to do with themselves than the other person. This woman knew nothing about me besides my name and face. She probably wouldn’t be able to pick me out from a group if she saw me in real life. Yet, she comes to these conclusions because I won’t take her side.

I like debating. I don’t like when it gets overheated and more explosive than TNT boxes in Crash Bash, but I admit the passion is sometimes admirable. However, this wasn’t even that. This is simply hurling a torrent of insults at someone for disagreeing with you. To put it another way, this is basically the equivalent of a child throwing a tantrum for being told they couldn’t have a piece of candy at the store. There’s no point to this. It adds nothing.

Just to make sure I am clear, I think debate and discussion is fantastic. That’s why I choose to be apart of it if the subject is something I feel strongly about. I understand people will get angry and furious. There are strong thoughts and feelings flying about. That’s to be expected. Really, I wouldn’t expect anything less. But resorting to a torrent of insults is unnecessary. As I said, it’s pointless and adds nothing meaningful. If anything, it just shows you cannot control yourself. And no, I don’t mean cursing. Cursing on its own isn’t a problem. Throw your curses at somebody, however, and that’s a problem.