To My Best Friend

Today is my best friend’s birthday. We’ve known each other for six years (and counting), and there’s not a day I’m not grateful for her.

We don’t see or even speak to each other much because of what goes on in our own lives, but we try. The one thing that makes me miss my high school years is we walked home together every day. And besides that, those years can die in a fire.

I don’t know what she thinks of herself, but I know what I think of her:

  • She is a wonderfully kind and strong person who works hard and deserves her dreams more than anyone I know.
  • She’s an inspiration to me. Seeing her get ahead with her life makes me happy for and motivates me to keep going with mine.
  • She’s fierce. She doesn’t give up. But she’s kind. She doesn’t stomp on those beneath her.
  • She loves to help others and she gives herself a lot. Sometimes, even if it means putting her needs behind for a bit.
  • But she knows what she deserves. She knows she shouldn’t be treated unfairly.
  • She gives her all in what she does. From a high school student to a regular worker, that hasn’t changed.

She’s someone to be admired and I’m so glad our friendship didn’t falter as high school friendships typically do after graduation. Whatever her goals are, she has me behind her.

Happy birthday, Jen.

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Another Year Has Passed

Which means it’s my 23rd birthday! Hooray!

I was expecting to work today, but my job is over payroll, so I had to be taken off the schedule for today due to being called in one of my previous off days this week. I already have permission to bring food, so I’m going to bring cupcakes to my job tomorrow. Today, I will just celebrate my birthday, and the privilege of not working on it!

Time Does Fly!

Oh, who am I kidding? Aging is the slowest thing in the universe. But when another year has finally passed, it can certainly seem short.

Today is my 22nd birthday! I have been getting birthday wishes since midnight, mostly from Tumblr, but I’ve gotten ones from family, friends, and my boyfriend. I also got a few gifts and the day in general was pleasant.

I also learned something today. “Birthday” is not necessarily an easy word to spell.

What the whozits is a “bartlay”?

At That Age

In 27 days, counting this one since it’s only barely after midnight, I will be 22 years old. For me, that realization is rather surreal.

My birthday is before my mother’s, but had it not been, she would’ve been 22 when she had me. I was not a planned child either and, like me, she had no intentions of becoming a parent. She only did it because she believed abortion was wrong and adoption wasn’t something she could handle (although neither was parenting; go figure).

This is something I continuously think about as my twenty-second birthday draws near, but I’m really not sure why. I knew I wasn’t going to have children at this age. Really, even if I wanted to be a parent, I wouldn’t have tried to become one by 22 because I’m in no position for it. It’s not something that’s bothering me. Just something continuously on my mind for one reason or another.

The best guess I have as to why I’ve been thinking about this so much is knowing this is the age where my mother’s life changed irreversibly. Becoming a parent doesn’t change everybody – heck, it makes them worse in some cases – but I’m certain no one can argue becoming a parent isn’t something you can take back. You can’t put them back up there. Okay, you probably could, but it’d be extremely painful and you certainly can’t reverse the nine months of pregnancy back into non-existence.

Occasionally, I do try to imagine myself in my mom’s shoes when she was 21 or 22, and it’s not an easy visual. I like children in general, so I can imagine the cute stuff like watching a baby sleep, but trying to picture the hard stuff tends to only make my head hurt. I can never picture myself waking up three times or more a night to a piercing wail, going days without sleep, or not having enough time to do so much as take a 5-minute shower. One of the most common things I hear about parenting is “your life is over” and that is more often than not from people who are parents instead of people who aren’t. My life over at 22? I’d have only been an adult for four years!

Yes, I’m aware babyhood is temporary. Eventually, they sleep through the night, gain a little more independence, and stop crying so much. Well, maybe not that last one since the temper tantrums start, but they hopefully won’t be waking you up five times a night until they’re in kindergarten. However, on its own, a year is still a lot of time and frankly, I’ve no desire to spend a year getting sleep three days at a time. I nearly collapsed after one day (a full 24 hours) without sleep, not to mention that can’t in any way be good for your body.

Sure, my mother did it, but she didn’t have a choice. She decided to keep me and have another child, so she had to endure the sleeplessness and all the stress that caring for a tiny, helpless person brings. Failure to do that would’ve resulted in either our deaths or her loss of custody before we became old enough to know she’s our mother.

Speaking of another child, I imagine this feeling will come back twice as strong when I turn 25. At 25, my mother had a three-year-old and a 1-week-old. Admittedly, I can’t see myself at 25 right now. It’s difficult to see myself any more than a year older than my age. I want this blog to be around for a few more years, so if it lasts until 2019, I feel like a certain shock will hit me if I go into my archives that year and find this post.

No Alcohol Here…

It’s April 27th, and what does that mean? Yes! It’s finally my birthday!! I am 21 years old! Ah, but no drinking me for me. Instead, I am celebrating with seafood. I’m going out to Red Lobster later on in the day.

In the meantime, here’s my birthday cake. Can’t wait to tear into it!

Had to scribble out the name because “Kaye” is not what’s on the cake

If you flip it around, Anna is on the other side.

Birthday Planning

My birthday is coming up in ten days. In ten days, I will be at the law’s legal drinking age. Not that it matters because I don’t plan on drinking anyway.

I’ve saved up enough money for Red Lobster and my uncle is taking me. I prefer to go on the weekend because my birthday falls on a Monday, but he’d rather go after school at night. I do not like being out at night. I’d prefer the crowd over the dark.

All I originally wanted was to eat out, but I discovered a Frozen cake at a ShopRite, so I’m ordering it for my birthday! According to Sunny (yes, it seems he’ll answer most questions), those types of cakes do not take long to bake. I want to have it by the 24th or 25th, and I plan on inviting my best friend over for some.

In more Frozen-related news than my birthday, Target sells three-foot tall dolls of Anna and Elsa. I wish my room wasn’t so small, but I will get them someday. Hopefully, before the year ends. I already have enough money to get one of them, but that would mean no birthday lunch. As much as I love Frozen, the queen and princess of Arendelle will have to wait! Birthday first!

I didn’t get that book, but I don’t really care. I might not get it all, really.

Late Into the Month

This month is five days from being over, and this is my first post for it. I wish I had more interesting things to post about, but I don’t. Only updates, more or less.

I purchased Cities: Skylines, and have been playing it a lot since I bought it. It took six attempts, but I finally got a city I’m doing well with. I only wish I could fix the traffic jams. Apparently, my citizens do not understand the purpose of bridges.

I also bought an adorable Snow Glow Elsa doll! Only problem is she doesn’t have a volume control and she’s somewhat loud. But I just play with her when I’m alone so her volume doesn’t bother anyone else.

And she came with a cute little Olaf too!

Life hasn’t changed much for me. Still looking for a job, still trying to fill my time, still trying to get Sunny to have a conversation with me that’s longer than two minutes. At the minute, I’ve said nothing to him since Saturday. I usually send messages somewhat frequently for him, but I want to see if it matters and how long it’ll take before he sends me something. I know testing someone is wrong, but I don’t have any other ideas.

In the meantime, I’ve been talking a lot to my other friend I met on OKC. We met up to go see Cinderella. It was a good movie, though not much different than the other remakes. I didn’t really expect it to be. I loved Frozen Fever! I have the song on my phone, but I want to see the short again so badly! I hope they put it on iTunes! Elsa’s such a cute queen, and Anna was a sweetie, trying to make her feel better about being sick on her birthday. I still kind of wish Elsa would’ve pulled off her dress when she was swinging around the clock tower pole, but that wouldn’t be very kid-friendly. Hopefully, someone makes fan art of it.

I want to save up money to go out to Red Lobster on my birthday. No alcohol! Instead, I will have a new book and shrimp.