Some Things Are More Important

Including today, I’ve had two days off from work. Today, one of my bosses called to ask if I’d like to come. Normally, I would’ve said yes and gotten ready as quick as I could. This time, however, I had to decline.

Well, that’s not the complete truth. I didn’t have to. Nothing was really stopping me from saying yes. But at the time she called, I was with my boyfriend, who I do not have the pleasure of seeing as often as we’d like. I was also in pain. Pain I deal with every month, but it’s still pain.

Accepting would mean I have to leave immediately, cutting my time with this person I see infrequently with barely a chance to kiss him goodbye. We’re used to the distance. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to use every minute we can have together.

It sounds strange for someone who needs money to turn down an opportunity for it, especially for a reason many would consider flimsy. I know very well jobs are hard to come by. But so are good relationships. While I would love extra money, there are some things money can’t make up for. In my situation, that was time.

Yes, more money would let me visit my boyfriend more often, but what would be the point if I had no time? My next day off is after three straight work days. The day I see my boyfriend, if we are both fortunate, may be on that day off. Three scheduled work days to one possible day with who I call the love of my life. Perhaps it’s me sounding haughty, but it’s not really a hard choice. I know I’m fortunate I can turn down the chance without worry. Some people would need to say yes.

When our time was finally up, we had to run to ensure my boyfriend got the bus he needed to get back home (it came earlier than expected). We hugged and kissed each other goodbye, and he waved at me through the window as the bus drove away. There will undoubtedly be many more goodbye affections and waves, but at that moment – when it was happening in the present – it meant everything. Nothing could replace it.

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Operation No Schedule

First off, since I’m posting on this day, I’ll say this: Happy Thanksgiving!

I had an interesting experience over the holiday “weekend”. I mentioned in a previous post I’d finally found a job. I’m still at that job and currently fearing my upcoming shift for Black Friday. Coming back from a lovely holiday is helping the anxiety a little, however.

When I continuously heard nothing from U, I assumed I simply wasn’t going to be working there. I’d heard from more experienced people a long wait wasn’t abnormal, but by the time they finally got back to me, after three weeks, I’d already worked about seven days at B. I wasn’t really having regrets because that meant I was able to start working sooner than later. The thought I could’ve missed out on that if I’d turned down B to wait on U makes me angry.

Eventually, I finally did hear from U. The background check finally came through and was finished, so they could let me begin working. But even that didn’t go as planned. I still had to wait on them, mainly the person I needed to speak to wasn’t there, despite me showing up exactly when I was supposed to. This happened at least twice.

In the end, I only worked two days. Unknown to me, I was scheduled to work two more days after that, but I had no way of knowing that because I wasn’t given a schedule, despite being told I would. As it turned out, the employees are supposed to call the store to be told what days and times they’re working. In other words, no one receives a schedule nor is there one posted anywhere for employees to check. How on Earth I’m supposed to know something I’m not told is outside of my level of understanding. I wasn’t informed of this until I’d missed the next two days I was scheduled to work. Interestingly, the issue that I’d been told I’d be given a given a schedule and wasn’t didn’t come up in that call about my missed days. I did bring it up, but I was countered with the rule about calling to know your schedule, which doesn’t exactly explain why I was told something that was false.

By the time they called me, however, I was already out of town and while I could’ve come back, I chose not to and, in the end, let them terminate me. I can only imagine how many people would consider me an idiot for giving up a job to vacation, but by this point, I was more than annoyed. I understand no one is perfect, things come up, and people make mistakes. I do a lot of that last one as a cashier at B. This situation, however, crossed too many lines for me and the last straw was having to cut my holiday break short because somebody didn’t find it necessary to tell me about this rule beforehand. You can make the argument I should’ve asked, but how can you explain why a new hire shouldn’t expect to be told about rules like that before being allowed to work? Expected to be common sense? Not all jobs operate the same way. At B, multiple schedules are posted for employees to check before going home for the day. This is something I was told before I started working. How am I supposed to know U operates in a very different way?

Unfortunately, I’m sure that’s going to do damage to my work history, but I’ve taken it as another life lesson. If my position at B doesn’t become a permanent one and I have to look for another job, I will remember to ask about how to obtain the schedule at any interviews I go on. I’m going to steer clear of U, though.

I won’t lie. I do miss the opportunity to have been making two paychecks. It may be minimum wage, but for someone who’d never worked until recently, it was an exciting thought. However, I’m no workaholic and I do believe sometimes, there are certain things that matter more than money and working. On that phone call, I had a choice to make: a mini-vacation I wouldn’t get a chance to have again for a long time or a job that hadn’t gone smoothly in the slightest. It’s clear which I chose. If nothing else, it’s certainly made me more appreciative for the job I do have. Plus, not every opportunity can be taken. To my surprise, I wasn’t as upset as I thought I’d be, which only helps me feel I made the right choice.

I should mention it wasn’t a decision I made with no support. Everyone I’ve spoken to about what happened told me the same thing: I’m not to blame for it. Even my family said they never heard of such a thing. I went on to enjoy my break and I now get to return to work tomorrow after having been able to relax and have a great time. To me, that’s irreplaceable and I’m glad I chose it. To an extent, it makes me understand the expression “Money can’t buy happiness.” I can’t deny money buys things that make me happy and money is what enabled me to have that great break to begin with. But it’s still not everything and some things just aren’t worth missing out on.

My First Valentine!

Happy Valentine’s Day! I had a wonderful day!

My boyfriend and I agreed to get together for today. Admittedly, the weather wasn’t favorable, but when is winter ever favorable for outing plans unless you’re doing winter sports?

The plan was only to go a buffet and, later, a bakery, but we filled in the time between with a bit of shopping. The buffet was great, although it was busy! The wait staff didn’t get a moment’s peace! I guess that’s standard for Valentine’s Day. I only had two plates, but he had five! And he still finished before I did, although his plates weren’t as full as mine after the first.

We were in the buffet for an hour. After that, we went around, looking for belts and razors for me, and a pair of gloves of him (because I’ll be darned if anyone’s hands freeze on my watch!). The belts were easy to find, but it took a few more stores to find the razors and gloves we were after. We also window-shopped around a game store for a little while. Just to see if there was anything new.

The bakery was great! We each had a slice of chocolate mousse and it was one of the most delicious desserts I’ve ever tasted in my life! I took my time eating mine because it was so good! He took some jello for later in the evening. Apparently, jello can spoil within an hour if it’s not refrigerated. I didn’t know that.

We got the gloves for him after the visit to the bakery and that was it. It was time to go home. I waited with him until the train came, we kissed goodbye when it did, and we left. Honestly, as much as I wanted to get out of the cold, I was still kind of sad we had to split ways. It’s the same way I feel every time we have to go home.

Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays because it’s supposed to be a day about love, but this one will probably always be my favorite for being my first one where I had a valentine. The year is still very early, but I’m going to consider this as one of my favorite days of this year.

Your Judgement Isn’t Important

Anger is swirling inside me right now.

I spent the whole day with my boyfriend. As always, I had a great time. However, we accidentally left his home a bit too late and, as a result, I had to take a much later train home than I intended. It was a genuine accident and we know we have to be more careful now.

So, why am I angry? Because when I sent a message to my uncle to let him know I’d be late, we got into a discussion about it and at one point, he said this to me: “He’s not important.”

“He” is referring to my boyfriend, of course. This isn’t the first time my uncle’s said that either and, frankly, I’m becoming less and less tolerant of these comments. I ignore them because my boyfriend doesn’t hear them, which is what I care about most, and they do not affect either of us personally. I don’t expect him to be considered important to anyone in my family. They don’t know him. But to say he’s not important at all? No!

Not only is he important to me, he is important as a person overall. Why? Let me break it up:

  • He was upset about being late and blamed himself for it. (Empathy)
  • He saw to it that I got on the train I needed and wouldn’t be any later than I already was. (Responsibility)
  • He told me to call him when I got home because he wanted to know I made it home safely. (Caring/Concern)
  • He apologized again after I called him. (Kindness)

There’s much more than that, but those are the ones relevant to this instance. You don’t have to be a big shot to be important. Everyone is important to at least two people: themselves and someone else. And I certainly hope he considers himself as important and valuable as I consider him.

I’ve told my boyfriend enough about my family for him to be able to make some scathing comments of his own, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know them just like they don’t know him, yet he manages to be the bigger person in this matter. I love him for that, and I love him overall and the devil will have to rise before I let my family decide who I should deem important and unimportant. I could deem several of my uncle’s past relationships unimportant, but that wouldn’t make me any more mature than him, and they’re not mine to place a value on anyway. So, I don’t.

Getting in deeper, my boyfriend is one of the three people (the other two are my best friend, and high school clinician) who’s had – and still continues to have – a huge positive impact on me and my life. He’s important to my health, my well-being, and me as a person. He’s added a lot to me and my life I don’t want to ever have taken. He’s become another reason I’m happy I did not take my life years ago when I was heavily suicidal. I didn’t know him around the time and thinking that I so easily never could’ve saddens me. Heck, when I think about how it was pure luck I met him (I randomly decided to log into OKC after being fed up with it), I feel a bit stunned.

Yes, he is very important to me and I prioritize him. Sure, sometimes, other things come first because different things need attention at different times, but he and our relationship absolutely are a priority for me and unless the day comes when we decide to cut ties (which I hope will never happen), that’s how my priorities will always be. No amount of mean comments will make me regret that.

No Alcohol Here…

It’s April 27th, and what does that mean? Yes! It’s finally my birthday!! I am 21 years old! Ah, but no drinking me for me. Instead, I am celebrating with seafood. I’m going out to Red Lobster later on in the day.

In the meantime, here’s my birthday cake. Can’t wait to tear into it!

Had to scribble out the name because “Kaye” is not what’s on the cake

If you flip it around, Anna is on the other side.

Birthday Planning

My birthday is coming up in ten days. In ten days, I will be at the law’s legal drinking age. Not that it matters because I don’t plan on drinking anyway.

I’ve saved up enough money for Red Lobster and my uncle is taking me. I prefer to go on the weekend because my birthday falls on a Monday, but he’d rather go after school at night. I do not like being out at night. I’d prefer the crowd over the dark.

All I originally wanted was to eat out, but I discovered a Frozen cake at a ShopRite, so I’m ordering it for my birthday! According to Sunny (yes, it seems he’ll answer most questions), those types of cakes do not take long to bake. I want to have it by the 24th or 25th, and I plan on inviting my best friend over for some.

In more Frozen-related news than my birthday, Target sells three-foot tall dolls of Anna and Elsa. I wish my room wasn’t so small, but I will get them someday. Hopefully, before the year ends. I already have enough money to get one of them, but that would mean no birthday lunch. As much as I love Frozen, the queen and princess of Arendelle will have to wait! Birthday first!

I didn’t get that book, but I don’t really care. I might not get it all, really.

Taking Care of a Grumpy Bear

Today, I went out with my boyfriend. We try to do something different everyday, so we hung out at my favorite plaza in the next town over. While I enjoyed myself (and, hopefully, he did too), I started to become tired as time passed and my legs got sore.

Unfortunately, tiredness plus soreness equals grumpiness. Naturally, I wasn’t in the mood for any kind of affection and started rejecting him. Rejection isn’t a bad thing, but what I’m really not proud of is that I started raising my voice at him over every little thing he said, even when he was trying to help. On top of that, when we finally left the plaza, I was so tired, I was stumbling like a drunk person and I still was rude to him, despite that he essentially kept me from walking into traffic more than once.

Nevertheless, he was patient with me. He didn’t yell at me once and still protected me from potentially hurting myself by accident. In fact, he was smiling most of the time, as if I wasn’t even bothering him.

Any other person would’ve decided “screw you” and left me there alone. When I was still talking to Emmi, he once told me he would throw me out of his car if I ever ticked him off, even if we were in his town (which I’m unfamiliar with) at night in the middle of the road! Of course, I wouldn’t purposefully try to anger anyone and I feel terrible about how childish I behaved, which is why I’m very grateful Jia didn’t leave me.

Later, we talked about it and he said that’s a silly thing to leave someone over. He even flat-out said Emmi was an idiot for saying what he did to me. Having had a number of people walk out on me for having a bad day or being frustrated, I was surprised by Jia’s point-of-view.

We’ve only been together for a month, so I don’t want to get too far ahead, but I really hope this lasts. However, time will tell.