Less Tolerance

Something I’ve noticed about myself lately is I don’t have as much tolerance as I used to.

By “tolerance”, I mean patience, not bigotry. Granted, I’ve never had much patience, but it seems the more time passes, I have even less. My 16-year-old self actually had a ton more patience and tolerance than my 21-year-old self does.

I have less tolerance for putting up with things and people that aggravate me. I either find a way to avoid the annoyance completely or simply get on with it so I can forget about it as quickly as possible. I still get into arguments every so often, but even those have become less frequent. I’d rather let someone think what they want than argue in circles with them.

I don’t know if my shortened patience comes from it being easier to ignore those things and people, or feeling like it’s simply not worth my time. Maybe it’s both. I will say it’s been very effective. It’s saved me quite a few headaches. Perhaps it’s one of those things that develops naturally as you get older? I’ve heard the older you get, the more you learn not to mind what other people think. I suppose this is similar.

That doesn’t mean I ignore everyone I disagree with. It just means I don’t continue arguments that aren’t serving any purpose except causing me stress.  Really, all that’ll happen in the end is everyone will keep their opinions, so there’s not much point in the first place.

I wonder how long it’ll be before I reached the point of “I’m not having this discussion” and begin walking away before a heated discussion can even begin. I might have to start heavily evaluating myself that day.

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How About Taking Turns?

“Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to.”

Out of all the rules I ever heard as a child, I think I hate this one the most.

Why? For starters, it has nothing to do with politeness. It’s simply used to shut a small kid up.

Just like the rule of saying nothing at all if you can’t say anything nice, this one gets lost on the path to adulthood. It’s also impossible. If no one spoke unless someone to spoke to them, no one would be able to speak at all. Somebody has to speak first. According to this, that “someone” must always and only be an adult. I want to know why an adult’s words are, by default, considered more valuable than a child’s.

I live with a family that spends half their time spouting racist and sexist nonsense all day. Nobody speaks to them first. They just blurt it out every now and then. What value is this? By contrast, I once babysat a little girl and she started telling me about her family’s trip to Florida. I didn’t ask her to and I didn’t say a word to her. She just did because she wanted to talk. Now, guess which one I’d rather hear.

If this rule is about not interrupting people, fine. That works, but should apply to adults too. It’s rude to interrupt anyone. But otherwise, someone has to speak first, and it’s fine if that “someone” is a child at times. That’s how we make friends. It’s how relationships are formed. It’s how people connect.

This rule needs to either be thrown in the garbage or replaced with something more sensible.

Also, I’ve heard this same rule was once applied, not only to children, but also to women. Admittedly, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but if it is, that alone is enough for me to consider this rule extremely outdated. This is not 1915.

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

…don’t say anything at all.

That was something I heard from my mother more times than I can count. Here’s something else I can’t count: the number of people who don’t follow that supposed rule.

Really, where did this saying even come from? I’ve never met a single person who abides by this, including myself. It’s not really possible to avoid things that aren’t so nice. Maybe if everyone in the world was a nice person, but that’s not how the world is.

However, if this expression is referring to unnecessary mean comments, I could agree. Nobody follows it, but it makes more sense. If I found out someone had stolen from me, for example, I’m completely justified in calling them a thief. I wouldn’t be justified in calling them a slur like the n-word.

There’s also the possibility this expression just means not to say unkind things to someone’s face, which is the definition I chose to take with it years ago. Of course, I don’t think talking trash about someone behind their back is much better. Unless they’ve hurt you somehow (in which case, you’re probably venting more than anything), you’re more exposing your own character, not theirs.

Personally, I think this is one of those expressions that needs to die out. Regardless of what meaning it’s taken for, it really may as well be meaningless. Everybody is going to have something unkind to say about someone, and they will say it. It may be within reason. It may not be. But they will.

Look Who’s Back

Emmi. Yes, that Emmi.

I anonymously wished him a happy birthday some days ago and yesterday, I asked him how his birthday was. Turns out I wasn’t as anonymous as I thought because although I’d cleared the profile entirely (and I did this before I wished him happy birthday, not yesterday), he knew it was me. More surprising, he asked for my Skype. He’d said he no longer wanted to talk to me, but shockingly, he never removed me. His Skype reset itself and, apparently, the whole account was deleted.

He’s well, he’s been having a good time, and he’s been getting sex, which I’m very glad to hear. We talked for about three hours last night. He actually remembered how late I tend to go to bed. He’s got better memory than Sunny.

Speaking of Sunny, he is getting on my last nerve with his ego and arrogance. I do enjoy talking to him, but his smugness is getting in the way. He has a lot of things to be proud of and that’s wonderful, but his ego is more fragile than a flower petal. He got offended because I called him clueless, insisting I insulted him in the worst way possible because of his IQ. IQ doesn’t mean everything, and in Sunny’s case, his social skills outside of his work are nearly deplorable.

I hate humanity, part 3

Happy Independence Day, everybody. Yay.

Of all days to find more proof the human race sucks, this day. If anyone ever asks me why I’d never bring kids into the world even if I wanted to, this is the answer.

I discovered this on my Tumblr dashboard today. Long story short, the author of this post went to a comedy club with some friends. One of the comedian made jokes about rape and sexual assault and when she rightfully called him out on it, he not only called her and friends names, but threatened them and got the whole audience in on it. She complained to the manager, but he just excused it, saying she shouldn’t come to a comedy club if she can’t take a joke. Yet I bet if any of these people had a loved one who was raped, it wouldn’t be so funny. Or maybe they’re the type of people who would blame that loved one for it.

Not only should that club be shut down, but that comedian should be arrested and charged for his attacks and threats, and the manager should be arrested and charged well for allowing and enabling it.

I. Hate. People.