Subconscious Rage

It’s amazing how long anger can last, whether or not you’re trying to hold it. In my case, I’m not, but it’s still there.

It’s been two years since the self-righteous liar who blamed me for a post I never wrote and never apologized. It’s been three years since several nasty run-ins with simmers who find anything less than extreme hype and overbearing love for absolutely everything of the series’ latest iteration unacceptable. It’s been four years since the obnoxious Pokemon fans who sent me hate messages because I cancelled my then pre-order for the games were being released at that time. And I can’t remember how long it’s been since I left the Sims forum and Sims reddit sub-section that showed blatant favoritism toward simmers with the “right” opinions versus simmers with the “wrong” ones (in particular with Reddit, I was banned after a user with the “right” views verbally attacked me and I eventually got fed up and lashed out; naturally, he got no consequence). Nor can I remember how long it’s been since I was banned from a Sims Facebook group that promised they were different, yet turned out to be the same as the plethora of Sims community with that style of administration. Maybe a year, maybe a bit less or more, but I really can’t remember.

Yet, I’m still angry at all of these people.

I’m not trying to be, I’m not purposefully holding a grudge, but when I think of any of these things, the above incidents are the first that come to my mind and all the anger resurfaces. Pokemon is unaffected because I’ve always been slow at completing the games (though I do not pre-order anymore; I’ve still yet to make sense of being angry at someone else’s way of spending their own money), but the others very much soured my outlook on the media and the fandom. I do not watch Winx Club, I no longer use the blog I made for the show, and I no longer speak to the friends I had in the fandom (one still follows me, but our contact is limited to occasional likes of each other’s posts). Any and all love I had for the Sims series as a whole has withered away and my “simblr”, despite I gave it an overhaul, remains unused while its Facebook page gets very light usage. I remember being excited I could finally follow a game from its beginning. I very much regret that excitement. And yes, I still buy the packs. Go figure.

I consider this akin to feeling embarrassed about things I did when I was young as five, too young to have the comprehension I do now. I’ve had all about “leaving the past behind”, but the problem is the past cannot be forgotten, short of inducing amnesia. There’s a saying about words: “Once said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.” That applies here. If I’m being honest, I haven’t forgiven these people. Moved past it and am not ranting anymore, yes, but I still consider these people to be awful humans who I couldn’t think or wish well of, even if I were the purest being alive. Maybe that is why this anger still rests in my subconscious and comes bubbling back to the surface when I consider rejoining these things. And yes, I am well that fandom is not needed to enjoy a certain media. Unfortunately, once you know the fandom, you forever connect it, subconsciously or otherwise, and that mental connection is not easily severed. Plus, having people, even faceless strangers, to share with is much like an addiction. It’s similar to how I feel about my relationship with my boyfriend. I was happy when I was single, but now that I know how wonderful a relationship can be and that I have him, I’d be hugely depressed if we broke up and I was single again. Years later, I might still feel the heartbreak because I can’t forget how much I enjoyed the time I had with him and loved him.

The curse of human memory and the price one pays for experiencing life, I suppose.

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The Irony Is Murderous

Remember I mentioned the person who told lies about me prided herself on not sending hate?

The friend of mine who follows her reblogged something from her. Guess what it is? A Winx-hate bingo card. And she made it because she felt “extra petty” that day.

Well, I guess being “extra petty” explains why she lied about and falsely accused me of things. She certainly has no grounds to be claiming maturity (neither do I, but I’ve never claimed such or acted like I do).

Yes, I realize I talk about this a lot and I’ve no doubt those of you who often read this blog are tired of it, but when I discovered that from my friend’s blog, I couldn’t not share it. For someone who claims fans of the older stuff are “nostalgic and biased”, she sure has one of her own against people who don’t think like her (like that wasn’t obvious enough).

As the title of this post says, the irony is murderous.

Drama-ix Club

It’s funny now that I’ve left the Winx fandom, I have so much to say about it. Granted, it is all related to my own experiences.

Since I began talking to my friends within the fandom, I’ve been considering rejoining the fandom. I do miss having a lot of people to talk with about the show and I miss when my main Tumblr blog was about 75% Winx posts. I surfed through the archive of that blog one day and at one point, I was regularly posting things related to Winx Club. I made a lot of small edits and took a lot of screenshots just for the sake of having fun and posting in the fandom. I can’t deny it’s a period I miss.

However, I’ve ultimately decided against returning. It’s a little lonely without the fandom, but it’s drama and stress with them. Now that I’m out of the fandom and looking at it from the outside, I’m beginning to wonder if there were some warning signs I missed that the fandom was beginning to tumble. One example from the top of my head is a user who would get angry and offended if you made any comment about the show they didn’t agree with that happened to be on a post of theirs. I once commented the group’s new style of civilian wear hadn’t yet grown on me and this person snapped at me. I still don’t see how “This style still hasn’t grown on me. I hope it does eventually,” is an offensive or even negative comment, but apparently, it is. I’ve begun to feel like that should’ve been a hint for me something was changing in the fandom.

It’s a way I used to behave as well. I grew out of it over time, but supposedly, the Winx fandom is composed of older fans, so maybe it is acceptable within that fandom. That’s odd to me because I recall someone saying they hope the nostalgic people will welcome newcomers to the fandom and while it’s only my opinion, I’d be more inclined to turn away from a new fandom if I saw people accusing others of being hateful, blinded, or biased because of nostalgia than because some people didn’t like the newer stuff. Some Disney fans don’t like any Disney movie beyond 2010, but I’m still part of the Disney fandom, to the point I wish Moana would hurry up and be released already! 😆

Speaking of newcomers, that’s another problem that’s recently come to mind. The people who make the “nostalgic and biased” argument assume anyone who likes the older seasons best (1 -3 or 1 -4) only feels that way out of nostalgia, but what about the fans who did not grow up with the show? I first saw Winx Club at 10 years old, but I didn’t watch it regularly. The most I saw on TV were a few episodes from the middle of the second season.  Yes, I liked the show and thought it was cute, but I didn’t really get into the show so heavily until I was about 16 or 17 after I’d watched all of the available seasons at that time on the internet. I’m now 22 years old. How the heck can I “grow up” with something in five to six years, especially considering the show wasn’t airing in America for two or three of those years? I’m positive I didn’t jump out of my mother’s womb as a teenager in 2010 unless I was somehow reincarnated and all my memories pre-2010 are from a past life.

Some of my friends are also friends with those people in the fandom and that’s probably the biggest reason I will not rejoin. I am not a homewrecker. I’m not going to make waves, potentially get into arguments with those people, and possibly put my friends into the awkward position of who to side with or, worse, staying neutral about it (you are only allowed like the old and new stuff if you prefer the new stuff over the old stuff; there is no neutrality or equality. You must pick a side and if you pick the wrong side, you’re toast). That’s why I’ve also decided to let go of that incident that happened back in March. I hate that person for what she did, but she’s the friend of one of my friends in the fandom (something I didn’t discover until recently). My friends’ other friendships mean more to me than my feelings and I refuse to risk wrecking someone’s friendship because their friend wronged me. That doesn’t make me any better. I’d only be hurting someone I care about for the sake of getting revenge on someone else. That’s not how you treat your friends!

I’ll keep asking periodically what’s going on and if there’s anything new because my interest in Winx hasn’t diminished, but rejoining the fandom is out of the question. If this whole “you only dislike the new stuff because you’re blinded and biased from nostalgia” blows over, I may reconsider. I was even thinking about creating a “holding blog”, so to speak, in case I ever do change my mind. For now, however, the answer to whether or not I’ll rejoin is an absolute no.

Not All The Fandom

No, that is not a play on a certain series of Twitter tags.

Back in March, I wrote a furious rant about something that happened to me from someone within Winx Club’s fandom. I’m still angry about that, mainly because I never received so much as an apology for it, although I never expected to. She lied. She spread false rumors. Why would she apologize when she, and some of the fandom, think that’s right? Not to mention, she prided herself on never sending hate to people. The idea of hatemail being frowned upon while lying and false accusations are okay is not an idea I’m interested in understanding.

However, I made sure to mention I had no hate for the few friends I have within the fandom and lately, I’ve been talking to those friends. I entrusted one of them in particular with that incident and wouldn’t you know? She agreed lying about me was “petty and immature” (to use her words). It turned out we also do hold similar opinions about the show. She chooses not to be so vocal about her complaints because she feels there’s no point in complaining. I can’t say she’s wrong, but when has that ever stopped most people from complaining?

In fact, her frustration is not with the complaints about the show, but the frequency of the same complaints. I never hung around as much social media for Winx as she does, but from what she tells me, she sees a certain complaint over and over and over again. She genuinely does understand why the fans who make that complaint feel the way they do, but seeing it so many is what bothers her. I agree with the complaint, but I can’t say she’s wrong. It’s like feeling sympathy for someone going through a rough time. The first time they vent to you, you’re all ears because you’re a good friend and care about them. But after the tenth time of the exact same complaining, you’re exhausted, not because you don’t care about them anymore, but because they’re not saying anything new.

It’s remembering there are people like her in the fandom – fans who may be irritated, but can still maintain respect and not be angry somebody doesn’t think like them – that makes me feel a little guilty for leaving the fandom solely because of that incident back in March. I feel like I blamed the entire fandom when it was only one person who lied and made those false accusations about me. That’s not right. I truly don’t doubt that person’s followers believe she was right for her lies, but I’m almost certain my friend above also follows that blog, yet she didn’t think lying was right. I can’t hold her or my other friends responsible for what someone else did. I can’t hold the people who think that person was right responsible either. Yes, they excused it, but they still didn’t do it.

I still have no plans to rejoin the Winx fandom, but I do ask about it every so often. It seems it’s quiet for the time-being because they’re waiting for the new spin-off. I personally have no expectations, but I hope it’s everything they’re wishing for.

The one lesson I can say I’ve heard from all this? Taking into consideration my experience with fandoms in general so far, it’d have to be: There are good and bad shows, but there is no such thing as a good fandom. Good fandoms don’t exist.”

I know I’m generalizing, but that’s what I’ve come to believe. The Winx fandom was the worst experience because of that incident back in March, but it certainly wasn’t the only bad experience with a fandom at all.

Goodbye, Winx…

Aside from a mere mention of it in some previous posts, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about Winx Club on this blog. Well, I’m finally going to do that. As you might guess from the title, however, it’s not happy. In fact, I’m full of rage right now and trying to show an extreme amount of restraint because if I wrote what’s on my mind exactly verbatim, this post would be 75% cursing at minimum. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to maintain that restraint, but I will try.

I lost interest in Winx Club sometime around late 2015. I’d guess about September. I tried to stay interested in it, but the few things I liked about the later seasons (season 5 and onward) weren’t enough to hold my interest. So, of course, it just slipped away and I was no longer enthralled with Winx Club as I used to be. However, I did not, by any means, hate the show. I still followed it to see if things got any better.

Not only did things not get better, they got worse, but not within the show. As of last night, I can sincerely say I do hate the show and I hate its fandom even more. The fandom has lately begun to take issue with anyone who isn’t so fond of the later seasons, to the point of undermining their opinions and condescendingly deciding anyone who prefers the older seasons “doesn’t like change”. That’s not why I hate it. The reasons for my anger and now-hatred of it is one of  them decided to make false accusations toward and create lies about me because they didn’t like to response to something they’d replied.

I have zero problems with people disagreeing with me. I expect that and if that’s all that’d happened, it would’ve been the end. But that’s not all that happened. This person lied and said I sent hate into their inbox when I’d never visited their blog prior to replying to that particular post. They also accused me of submitted the confession that was posted on, which, again I did not do. They also accused me of blacklisting a subject after they’d posted about it causing biased in the fandom. Again, not something I did. Rather than stopping at disagreeing with me and leaving it be, they decide to make up lies and false accusations about me for no other reason (presumably) than not liking what I had to say. I didn’t like what they had to say either, yet funnily enough, I didn’t deem it at all appropriate to falsely accuse them of things and spread lies about them.

Even if I did still like Winx Club, I would not want anything to do with a fandom that finds it appropriate to make up lies about others on a whim. For all the show’s flaws, past and present, the fandom and community are 100 times worse and I’m ashamed of myself for ever being a part of it. I do have a few friends in the fandom I’ve made and kept, despite my fallen interest in the show, so I can’t say I hate the entire fandom. But excluding those friends, I do hate the fandom and I never again want to take any part of it. If somehow, I regain my interest in Winx Club and it becomes my favorite show again, I will still refuse to be part of that fandom for the simple fact it was deemed okay to falsely accuse me of things I didn’t do and lie about me. If that’s how they handle when they’re disagreed with, the fandom can kick rocks for all I care.

For the record, I’m not going to deny my own aggression. When I wrote the first response, I was irritated, so I know it was aggressive. But nowhere did I make up lies about someone or falsely accuse them of things they didn’t.

I will let you read the post for yourselves and you can decide who did what to who. Clicking the image will take you to my second response to this.

(Blue is me; Red is the liar)

Goodbye, Winx Club. Goodbye forever.